Just before the week ended a new one began, I cam to a realization that I really did not want to come to. It seems that I cannot be myself without upsetting family and friends. My family do not want to accept me for me. Many of my family have only just begun to meet me and is so shocked at the things I do and the way I may act at times. It is mind-boggling to me. One feel that family should be the entity that one may go to whenever they need support. It does not seem that way with me. I find myself having to go to close friends for support only because my family will be quick to either turn me away or put me down mentally.
This morning I had a HORRIBLE dream. I had a dream that I was in a fight that caused me to be arrested and violate the probation that I am on. That in turn caused me to bve sent to prison. Dreams like that scares the *ish out of me because some time down the road, they always become reality. I am hoping that this NIGHTMARE is not a window into the future, because if it is I am going to have to watch every step I make.
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